Dealing with Differences


Dealing with differences

I doubt if it will come as a shock to anyone reading this that those working in our colleges do not always agree with each other and that tension sometimes occurs between staff.

People are complicated and every situation is different, but are there some basic rules that we can all follow to help us in such situations? Here are a few suggestions – OK, more than a few but life is more complicated than four simple rules:-

  1. If you are in leadership, do everything you can to lead within an open and trusting relationship with staff.
  2. If you are staff, recognise the complexity of the task of leading and recognise the authority of those who lead.
  3. Remember that the best decisions, especially in a time of conflict, are those taken together with as many people involved as possible, who then own the decision.
  4. Exhibit gentleness as a fundamental Christian virtue – both a beatitude and a fruit of the spirit – it must govern the way we speak to others and of others at all times.
  5. Acknowledge weakness and sin in all. We are not, any of us, wonderful people with perfect hearts who nonetheless occasionally make mistakes. We are all selfish, sinful, weak human beings and we therefore need to be humble with ourselves and forgiving of others.
  6. Say sorry when necessary. It is a sign of maturity and strength, not weakness. Everyone knows you are not perfect, so why pretend to be?
  7. Strive for consensus, but if that is not possible, look for compromise, except on those things that damage the fundamental mission of the college.   Even God compromised with his people in the Old Testament.
  8. Be there. Spend time in each other’s offices; of those we agree with, but especially of those we disagree with. Leadership especially needs to be constantly talking with all staff on their own territory.
  9. Always thank God that you are working together for him in such an influential job as theological education, training the future leaders of his church.
  10. Model for the students the attitudes and processes of good, loving, co-operative Christian service in a team. If you can’t do that, better stop teaching them scripture.
  11. Respect must always be offered and be seen to be offered to all by all. In some situations, trust breaks down, but basic respect must survive – to those above you, below you and alongside you, at all times.
  12. Attend to the issue of communication, especially from the decision makers to all affected; from one department to the other; to all, about everything possible, in every way.
  13. Consider whether the structure of the college and in particular its leadership and decision making structure, needs to be changed.
  14. If you are in leadership, never simply tell staff off for their attitudes but deal with the issues.
  15. Remember that your unity is based on a common experience of Christ. You are in the same family together whatever arguments may take place within that family.

There is nothing more difficult than leading in a time of conflict, or being authentically Christian in a time of conflict.   However, when those in an organisation come back to a position of serving together with joy after a difficult period, this is a wonderful gift of God.


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7 Comments on “Dealing with Differences”

  1. Campbell Hamilton Says:

    Thank you for this particularly wise and helpful reflection Graham. There is so much here worthy of meditation and implementation, whether by College staff or church members. I have been in equal measure inspired, chastised, challenged and exhorted.

  2. BY Says:

    Really good!

    Brings back a lot of CMF memories……..we do have a enemy, who stirs things, but people still need to grow up emotionally and spiritually.

    Still praying!



    Mark Cheesman 07771994104


  3. Jim Murdoch Says:

    Thanks Graham for a very practical, thought provoking, brave article. I have often thought that when people say things like: ‘i think it is great that all you guys present such a unity in teaching’ maybe this is a compliment worth rejecting!
    Christians will differ on certain issues and interpretations of Scripture. We need to model the handling of differences well. When tensions are left to fester, disaster awaits. May God help his children to strive to be at peace and to really love one another.

  4. PatrickM Says:

    Practical and wise – am reblogging esp since the invitation to pass it on. Patrick

  5. […] Graham Cheesman is a friend and colleague and blogs once a month or so at Teaching Theology. […]

  6. Paul SANDERS Says:

    Loved it ! Sounds as if it is eminently practical right now !!


    Paul Sanders 4, allée de l’Aire 44240 La Chapelle sur Erdre FRANCE

    Le 1 avr. 2014 à 10:16, Teaching Theology a écrit :

    > >

  7. Sorry, my previous post was automatically corrected by my Spanish grammar corrector. what I meant:
    People’s conflicts are the daily bread in church, so passing this on to students would be a great practical teaching.


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